The other day, I was reading a parenting magazine and came across the advice section. Some woman had written in to complain about her "super dad." She said that her husband is so involved in the parenting that he wants to do everything. It was irritating her that he had such a strong opinion on everything having to to with raising their children. Excuse me?? Try as I might, I'm failing to see the downside to this. For generations, women have complained that their husbands have had nothing to do with raising the kids and when we finally have a generation of men that is willing and able to participate in parental duties, we complain about it. We complain because they don't "do it right" but what we're really saying is that they don't do it the way that we would do it. Because so many of us, 3 or 6 months into this journey called parenthood, are experts.
My husband is a super dad. There is no doubt about it. He rushes home at the end of the day to see his daughter and is delighted to spend the entire evening taking care of her, watching her play and just snuggling. He actually enjoys changing her diaper because he feels like its one thing he can do and he can do well to take care of her. He loves it when I pump so that he can feed her a bottle. If she wakes up from a nap and I jump up to get her, he says, "Why can't I get her?" to which I respond, "Be my guest." Sometimes he tries to act like he knows her better than I do or he'll say "I've seen her do that before" when I try to tell him something new she's done. It doesn't annoy me. It shows me that he wants to be equal partners in this parenting venture. He's not content to be "babysitter" when I need a break or disciplinarian when she gets older. He is truly, 100% super dad and if I ever complain about it, will somebody come over and slap me across the face?
I wish I could've sat down with the woman who complained about her super-dad husband and ask her how involved her dad and grandfather were in raising their children. I would've asked her to talk to her mom and grandmother about which they would've preferred. As moms, we rely so much on our maternal instinct. Don't we realize that men have paternal instinct as well? Just because we would've put our daughter in her pink and white dress with matching booties and hairbow while he put her in a onesie and mismatched socks, does that make him a bad father?? When Parker swaddles Mary Elizabeth, she gets out of it every time. I realized that its not because he's doing it wrong or doesn't care to learn how I do it to keep her in. It is because he doesn't want to wrap her too tight because he's afraid of hurting her. That's a paternal instinct. He wants to take care of his daughter the ways that he knows how.
Super-dad husbands are truly one of the greatest blessing to this generation of mothers. More so than that, they're one of the greatest blessings to our children. The women who complain are probably the same ones that complain about the fact that their husbands are so skinny and how all they have to do is think about losing weight and they do. Instead of sitting on the couch, complaining to your girlfriends about him while eating bonbons, how about appreciate the fact that your husband is hot!
Get ready to cringe ladies, I'm bringing up the verse our generation hates. Ephesians 5:22-24 says "Wives, submit yourselves to your own husbands as you do to the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church, his body, of which he is the Savior. Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit to their husbands in everything" (NIV). I know that doesn't sit too well with our independent, feminist generation but read The Message version: "Wives, understand and support your husbands in ways that show your support for Christ. The husband provides leadership to his wife the way Christ does to his church, not by domineering but by cherishing. So just as the church submits to Christ as he exercises such leadership, wives should likewise submit to their husbands." Sound better? Understand and support. Don't interpret and complain. If you're lucky enough to have a super-dad husband or just a super husband, appreciate him, taking time to support his efforts instead of constantly telling him how we would've done it differently.
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