Our God is Healer, Awesome in Power

Yesterday was a test of faith that I was not ready for at all. I had spent the day with Mary Elizabeth and my two cousins Grace and Erin. They are 5 and 10 and I had a great time "pretending" I had 3 kids for a day...but that is a post for another day. After dinner last night, we were downstairs watching "Rango" with the girls when we heard Mary Elizabeth wake up from a nap. I asked Parker, "Do you want to get her or do you want me to?" I always ask, knowing the answer is always he wants to get her. I continued watching the movie as he went to get her to bring her downstairs. As they were headed back down, I heard a loud crashing and then Parker scream. I jumped up, knowing immediately what had happened. I found Parker on his back on the steps and Mary Elizabeth face down at the bottom. He had slipped, which is easy to do on our steps, and she had slipped ou of his arms at the end.  I quickly picked her up and tried to comfort her. She was crying, partly out of fear but I could tell she was in pain. After calling my mom, I decided to take her to the ER just to be on the safe side.

I hadn't really started to worry yet because she was awake and alert and still seemed a just little scared.  I realized on my way to the hospital that I was putting on a front for Parker.  I was terrified something was wrong.  When we got there, they wanted to run some tests to see if anything was wrong. Parker was able to meet me, after my mom went to our house to watch my cousins, who were still under our care for the night. As they ran CT scan and x-ray, I could see Parker's heart breaking. She hated having the tests run and was crying the whole time.  She was in pain and he felt like it was all his fault. As we sat awaiting results, we prayed and held hands. I kept reassuring Parker that she was fine and it was not his fault, that accidents happen. I could tell he was having a hard time believing me and forgiving himself.

The nurse came in and said, "Unfortunately I have a little bit of bad news." My heart sank as he told us Mary Elizabeth had a fractured skull and was bleeding a little onto her brain. I was in shock. I honestly didn't think they'd find anything wrong with her. I thought they'd be sending us home with a mere warning to be more careful but instead, they were sending us via ambulance to Children's Healthcare of Altanta. At this point, Parker was sobbing.  I kept reassuring him that she would be fine, not sure that I even believed it myself.  I kept myself composed, for him, because I knew he was beating himself up.  I didn't want himt o see me hurting as well.

When the ambulance came, they said I could ride with them but Parker would have to meet us there.  I was on the verge of breaking down and was glad we had to be apart for just a little while.  As soon as he left, I lost it.  I started weeping, praying out loud, calling for Jesus to come heal my daughter.  They immobilized her in her carrier and strapped her to the gurney.  As I watched them put her in the back, I jsut kept thinking how she was way too young for this.  We shouldn't be here.  She should be at home, being rocked to sleep in my arms.  Instead, we were flying down 400 to take her to Scottish Rite.  It wasn't just the doctor's office or even the ER.  That's where they take the really sick kids.

I kept trying to make my mind stay focused on the positive but I found myself begging and pleading for God not to take her.  I remembered so many nights when I was pregnant having that same fear, thinking that once she was out I wouldn't have to worry about that anymore.  Less than 4 months into her sweet life, I found myself having to face those same demons.  I kept praying, out loud to myself and whispered into her ear, the verses I had memorized when I first found out I was pregnant. 

"When I am afraid, I will trust in You.  In God, whose Word I praise, in God I trust.  I will not be afraid." (Psalm 56:3-4)

"So do not fear, for I am with you.  Do not be afraid, for I am your God.  I will strengthen you and help you.  I will uphold you in my righteous right hand." (Isaiah 41:10)

When we got down to Scottish Rite, she woke up very upset.  I'm sure she was in pain but at this point, it was close to 2 hours after her bedtime and she was very tired.  They checked her vitals, looked through the report sent by Northside Forsyth and hooked her up to numerous monitoring machines.  They decided that because of the bleeding, they would keep us overnight to monitor her.  Luckily, it wasn't bad enough to warrant surgery, which was an initial fear.  They put us in a room that had a couch that folded out big enough for one person and a huge drop-side crib that was about the size of a twin size bed.  I gave Parker the couch and ended up int he crib cuddled up to my girl all night long.  I couldn't make myself leave her side.

Finally this morning we got good news.  The neurologist came in and said the blood was really just a few "whisps" of blood and nothing to remain concerned about.  After about 12 hours int he hospital, we were finally able to take our girl home.  She still has a depression fracture in the front of her skull and her eye is swollen mostly shut.  They said it would take about 6 weeks for the fracture to heal and a few days for theswelling to go down.  However, she should make a complete recovery with no lasting effects.  Today she is her normal, healthy self except for the swollen eye and red bump on her head.  As long as she has Tylenol in her system, she's as happy and as sweet as she always is.  She is still in pain but is one tough little girl.

This is sort of the reader's digest version of the story but I can hear her in the other room and I want nothing more than to go snuggle and cherish her.  I have never been so scared in my life yet at the same time, have never felt such peace.  I started praying as soon as it happened and have prayed without ceasing since.  I have never felt so covered in prayer as friends and family across the world rallied together to pray for Mary Elizabeth.  Considering everything that has happened over the past 24 hours, I haven't really cried more than about an hour.  God made me strong for Parker.  God's strength is made perfect in our weakness and I have never seen it more in myself than I did last night.  I am not boasting on my own strength because I was on the verge of my own breaking point all night.  I do boast in the strength of the Lord and the faithfulness of a God who loves my child more than I do.  I am so eternally grateful for His peace and His grace.  I do believe that He heard the prayers of His children for healing and He healed my daughter. 

Please continue to pray for healing of my daughter's body and for my husband's heart.  I pray that neither has any lasting damage.

Exodus 15:2 "The LORD is my strength and my defense; he has become my salvation. He is my God, and I will praise him, my father’s God, and I will exalt him."
Deuteronomy 10:21 "He is the one you praise; he is your God, who performed for you those great and awesome wonders you saw with your own eyes."
 
Deuteronomy 32:3  "I will proclaim the name of the LORD. Oh, praise the greatness of our God!"