It was so amazing to have a leisurely morning at home before
heading out to Spain! We had breakfast, played with the baby, and got ready
while she napped. This morning I nursed Mary Elizabeth for the last time. I
thought I would be sad and emotional about it but I really wasn’t. I feel good
about the timing. Ideally, I would’ve liked to have gone a few more months but
I really feel good about stopping now. I tried to soak up every second of her
before we left, rocking her extra long before her nap and riding in the
backseat next to her on the way to the airport. I knew it wouldn’t make it any
easier but I just wanted a few more moments to cling to later in the week when
I know I would be missing her.
When we got to the airport, I was overcome with emotion as I
hugged her goodbye. Its funny because when we left for Cabo last year, she was
still asleep. I think that made it a lot easier. I don’t remember crying before
leaving then. This time was a little different. I’m not worrying about her safety
and sustenance like I did before. This time I’m worried about her feeling
abandoned or being sad that we’re gone. I think that’s what got me at the
airport.
Once we got out of the car and my mom drove off, I gave
myself a few more minutes to be sad and then intentionally set my mind on being
fully present for the trip. We met up with the team, checked in, and headed to
the gate. I made a few last phone calls and sent a few lasts texts, then
boarded the plane!
The plane ride was fairly uneventful. Terrible food, worst
movie possibly ever made, impossible sleep conditions. Yet somehow or another,
I blinked and we were landing on Madrid Saturday morning.
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