Husbands

Over the last few days, I've come in contact with a few different women in my circles of acquaintances that are struggling either in their marriage or with decisions and characteristics of their husbands. My one friend is pregnant with her first child and asked me to pray for her husband's job. I've known them for a few years and since we first met, he's gone through a few different occupations. He seems to be searching for something, purpose or direction, but doesn't seem quite able to find it. At this point, he is unemployed again, contemplating his next move. I thought about my friend and how stressful it must be to have a child on the way in such unsure financial times. The economy is bad enough but in the midst of that, to try and support a husband who is lacking direction in his career seems more trying than what I would be able to tolerate. (Mind you, I am a type-A control freak so maybe that sort of thing would only stress me out.)

Another friend of mine has been married for 30 or 35 years and is having more concrete issues in her marriage. Over the past few years, her husband has developed a drinking problem that seems to be affecting every aspect of his life but mostly his marriage. She said that he withholds information from her and they are drifting further and further apart every day. He has finally opened up to the idea of marriage counseling but it seems like it is primarily to keep her from leaving him. He goes to church every Sunday, seems like a very nice, respectable Christian man, but just hasn't made his marriage a priority over his desires and is suffering because of it.

The third woman asked for prayer for her husband's spiritual journey. He has been battling anger issues for years and although he has accepted Christ into his life, he can't seem to accept grace and surrender his life to Him. His spiritual journey seems more like a roller coaster and what my friend wants more than anything is for him to surrender and be a spiritual leader to his family.

As I listened to all of their stories, my heart truly ached for each woman. Each one seems to be approaching their unique situations with amazing grace and humility. They're all in constant prayer for their husbands. They are all trusting God's will and plan for their marriages. Despite the circumstances and poor choices their husbands make that ultimately affect them, they are all humbling themselves to their husbands, hoping they'll find God's path on their own. I pray for these women and the strength they need to continue to submit to God and surrender their marriages to Him.

At the same time, hearing these stories make me think of my own husband and how truly blessed I am. The day I married Parker, I really had no idea what an amazing man God had given me. Obviously, I met him at the altar so I had my suspicions but the depth of his character continues to reveal itself to me with each day that passes. He wakes up everyday and works his tail off in order to provide for his family and his future. He is a constant source of spiritual guidance in my life and encourages me in my walk with the Lord. He showers me with more love and grace than I ever deserve. He loves our daughter entirely and with his whole heart, even though he has yet to meet her. He serves his church, his community, his friends and his family joyfully. God gave us marriage to have an physical, earthly representation of the loves He has for us. He wanted us to be able to shine His light and love selflessly, modeling how Christ loved the church. I am so truly blessed by my husband and hope so much that there are other women who get to experience marriage the way that I do.

"Wives, submit to your husbands as to the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church, his body, of which he is the Savior. Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit to their husbands in everything.
Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her to make her holy, cleansing her by the washing with water through the word, and to present her to himself as a radiant church, without stain or wrinkle or any other blemish, but holy and blameless. In this same way, husbands ought to love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. After all, no one ever hated his own body, but he feeds and cares for it, just as Christ does the church— for we are members of his body. "For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh." This is a profound mystery—but I am talking about Christ and the church. However, each one of you also must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband." (Ephesians 5:22-33)