The American Dream is a Lie

I've been thinking about this post for a week. Thinking...and not writing. Maybe I'm not quite convinced. Or maybe I know it will offend some people and I don't like to do that (often). I've been thinking a lot lately about purpose and calling and The Great Commission. Jesus' last words on earth as recorded in Matthew 28:19 were these: "Therefore go and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and the Son and the Holy Spirit." This verse has been very prominent in my mind for a few years now, as God is creating in me an extraordinary love for the nations and His people all over the world. But this verse means way more than most people give it thought to. Most people read it and think "hey I should go on one of those short-term mission trips my church is always talking about." And sometimes they go (many times they don't) or they write a check to someone else who does (thank you, truly!), and then they put a check mark in the box next to "The Great Commission" on their churchy to-do list and go about their lives. Could the last words of Jesus to His followers really be that simple? I believe that some are called to overseas missions and many are not. Could Jesus' last words really only be for them?

As I wrestled with this, I do have a unique and perhaps somewhat biased perspective. I AM one of those people called to overseas missions. Not just a trip or two every couple years but I'm feeling a greater calling to love God's people around the world, of all tribes and tongues. As I've walked through many months of questioning, praying, seeking God, seeking wise counsel, etc etc, I truly feel that God has called me to work in the field of overseas missions. That doesn't mean I'm packing up and moving my family to a mud hut in Africa but it does mean that I'm leaving the "comfort" and known of being a stay-at-home mom to go back to work. However, in doing so, I can't help but feel that I'm abandoning another calling, my first calling, to be a mom. That's where the tension is. And the tension is where growth happens. 

For me personally, I've started to ask God things like "Is being a stay-at-home mom a calling? Can I find my purpose in being a mom, whether a working mom or SAHM? Am I abandoning that purpose/calling to follow another one and if so, is that right?" I was reminded of a conversation I had years ago with an older, wiser mentor. We were talking about how many kids I wanted and when I said that I might be done at two, she said "Having two isn't being fruitful and multiplying, it's just replacing yourself." Good point. And we could go on and on about whether or not that Old Testament command still applies to us today but for this post's purposes, that's not the point. The point is that yes, having two kids is essentially just replacing you and your spouse for the next generation. I'm not saying that that's a bad thing but what if your children are your only purpose and calling in your life? Upon your death, assuming they've both accepted Christ and your sweet little Christian family has mostly "kept their faith to themselves," have you really made any difference from one generation to the next? Maybe you were kind to people that were kind to you but is mankind better off for having had you? Or did you just create a replacement plan for after you've gone home? My point is not have more than two kids, my point is not the answer to the never-ending debate of working mom vs. SAHM. My point is this: what are you doing with your life that impacts the Kingdom of God for more than just your sweet little family?

Here comes the controversial part. I don't think that your own children should be your only calling. I don't think that getting married, moving to the suburbs, having a couple kids, living the American Dream, retiring to FL, and dying peacefully of old age is a calling. Sure the American Dream gives us worthy goals and things to strive for but I don't think that it has very much true generational or Kingdom impact. We've been taught to believe it brings happiness and contentment in this life but in all honesty, I think the American Dream is a lie. I think it's a huge distraction meant to keep us busy, spinning our wheels, always comparing, never truly content and all the while, we are missing the whole point of this life! I think that everyone has been given a thumbprint of God on their soul that leads them to their true calling, their own personal mission field. As an example, my dad is a firefighter. It's his passion, his job, and it always has been imprinted on his soul. A few years ago he was approached by some Liberians asking him to set up an entire fire and safety infrastructure for their country. No small undertaking. But he knew that it was more than his Liberian friend asking. God had created him to say yes to this. And so he did and now there is a brand new fire engine, ambulance, tons of gear, and a whole team of properly trained firefighters and paramedics in Liberia. Amazing. Another example is my husband. He is a criminal defense attorney and many people look down on that type of law, believing that my husband makes a living "defending the bad guys and keeping the drunks on the road." In actuality, my husband asks almost every client he has where they are in their faith. We have two families of former and current clients that attend church with us regularly. He brings Bibles into the jail, prays for and with his clients, and regardless of what the situation is, he always tries to do what he can to get his clients back on the right foot and out of his list of clients. His work is his mission field. I have a doctor friend, one of the best in the country, that travels to Kenya 2-4 times per year, Southeast Asia 2-3 times per year, and various other countries like Israel and Liberia to lead medical missions trips. I have a SAHM friend who regularly mentors women who have lost a child because she's been there before. Hers is not a platform that she ever would've chosen for herself but she's accepted the Lord's calling to use her personal experience plus her relational personality and strong faith to glorify God through her loss. 

I could keep going but I won't. (Unless you want me to!) The point is that the Great Commission was not for overseas missionaries or for pastors or for perfect people. It was for the followers of Jesus. He told his followers, men and women with pasts and sin and insecurities, to go and make disciples, otherwise known as students or pupils of his teaching. And we're called to do this to ALL nations. Nations here more directly translates to people group. Everyone knows some of those. You probably have people groups at work, at the gym, in your neighborhood and community, your children's school, everywhere. I'm not suggesting that SAHMs should go find a job and start evangelizing to your new coworkers. Nor am I telling working moms to add another plate to juggle by volunteering or getting involved somewhere. What I am suggesting is to start a dialogue with God and figure out what He wants your mission field to be. Which "nation" or people group is He calling you to. Here are some questions to think through as you dialogue:

-What are my unique talents and gifts?

-What is it that I do/have done/wish I could do that gets me excited to get out of bed everyday?

-How am I impacting the Kingdom of Heaven in my current circumstances? 

-What more could I be doing?

-What, if anything, is holding me back/distracting me/standing in my way of pursuing God's will for my life?

Honestly I'm still trying to define this clearly in my own life. But as I've talked to other people about my calling, most of them see it much more clearly in my life than I do. Why? Because they don't have fear clouding their vision. Fear of the unknown, fear of being different, fear of being judged, fear of no longer conforming/pleasing, fear of surrendering everything to God. I get it. I so incredibly 100% spot on get it. Mine started with a simple prayer: break my heart for what breaks Yours. That led to me saying yes to stepping out of my comfort zone. And that surrender paved the way for greater things, hidden behind a veil of fear. If you're interested in journeying this with me, let me know. Break free of the chains that hold you back from pursuing God's good, pleasing, and perfect will.

"Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is—his good, pleasing and perfect will." Romans 12:2