Hurry Up and Wait

It seems that almost daily people are asking how the house-selling process is going. Honestly, its actually not that much fun. At all. It wears on me. I've lost track of how many showings we've had but I know that we had nine in one week last month. We were under contract at the end of July but it fell through. We have lowered the price twice, spent $3000 on mold remediation in the basement, $400 on trees for the backyard, 2 weeks and about $200 on giving the kitchen a facelift (it looks amazing btw), countless hours doing minor repair work and touching up paint multiple times, and I've cleaned the carpet in the living room 3 times (thanks to my sweet little angels and their messy tendencies). I've lost track of important documents and tasks because they get so well hidden in the house showing scramble. I've had strangers walk through my house while my small group was here, while I sanded and painted cabinets in the garage, and while my dirty laundry was all over the bedroom floor. I've had late nights and early mornings preparing for showings that didn't even bother to come. I can go on but I'm guessing you get the picture. Selling a house, especially with two littles who make messes faster than I clean them, is not for the faint of heart. Our house has been on the market now for about 4.5 months. How easy would it be for me to say "Forget it! Clearly this isn't God's will or else it would have sold by now!" I'd be lying if I said I haven't had that thought a time or two. But whenever we pray, whenever we go back to the Lord, He always confirms that this is still His plan for us. Our convictions about living a simpler life in order to better serve God and His people have not changed. Our conviction to say no the lie that is the American Dream certainly have not changed. If anything, they've grown stronger. As comfortable as I find myself in our house, I have detached emotionally from it. I find myself just sort of stuck in this in between phase, waiting on God. One of the many things that He has shown us in this process is that He does not move quickly. Americans move quickly but God takes His time. We rush from task to task, always moving, always going, rarely stopping to rest. (Oh how I am so guilty of this!) His timing is almost always slower than ours. It took Noah decades to complete the ark, all the while enduring much criticism for blindly following what surely seemed like a crazy assignment. (I can relate.) Abraham and Sarah didn't meet their much-anticipated and promised son until Abraham was 100 years old. Joseph spent over 20 years in slavery and imprisoned before God showed him why he was brought to Egypt. From the last prophet in the Old Testament to the birth of the long-awaited Savior, there were 400 years of silence from God. Jesus told his followers that he would return soon....that was over 2000 years ago. In Isaiah 55:8 the Lord declared "For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways." In America, we lack delayed gratification but God sees the bigger picture. Not just our lives from start to finish but the entire history of creation from start to finish. Ponder on this for a second...what if God begins something in your life or in my life that is not meant to come to fruition or completion until another generation? That bothers us right? As humans, and more specifically as Americans, we want to see the end result. God has been showing me that He is often more interested in the journey than the destination.

Today in a devotional I'm reading on the book of Daniel, I read about the boldness of Daniel and his companions' faith. You may have heard the story of Shadrach, Meshach, and Abednego. (If not, you should read it in Daniel chapter 3, if for no other reason than its really fun to say Shadrach, Meshach, and Abednego.) Long story short, Daniel and his three amigos were living in the palace of King Nebuchadnezzar, the Babylonian king who conquered Jerusalem and took the Israelites captive. In chapter three, we see the king building a huge idol of gold and requiring everyone to bow down to worship it. The penalty for not worshipping the huge idol was death in a fiery furnace. (It might seem weird to us because culturally this hasn't been super prevalent in the United States. However, you can travel around the world today and see many different cultures worshiping golden statues and praising hand-made gods. Our idols here are much more subtle...but that's a topic for another day.) Shadrach, Meshach, and Abednego refused to bow before this false god. They said to the king "If we are thrown into the blazing furnace, the God we serve is able to deliver us from it, and he will deliver us from Your Majesty’s hand. But even if he does not, we want you to know, Your Majesty, that we will not serve your gods or worship the image of gold you have set up.” (Daniel 3:17-18) I absolutely adore the faith and boldness of these men. They confidently stated that their God COULD rescue them from the furnace but that even if He chose not to, their faith would not be shaken. I think many American Christians lack this conviction in their faith. Many of us instead would think "I believe God can do [insert our prayer requests] and if He chooses not to, everything I've ever believed about His goodness must be false." We base our perception of God's goodness and faithfulness on our circumstances. In other words, we have faith in God as long as His plan lines up with ours. But the moment the plans don't line up or the timing isn't what we prayed for or the outcome doesn't look the way we hoped and prayed, we question and often abandon God. It reminds me of an issue I'm currently dealing with in regards to my 4 year old daughter. Lately, whenever I have to discipline her for being disrespectful or disobedient, she will ask me why I'm being so mean. She questions my goodness because in the moment she only sees the discipline. She doesn't see the big picture the way that I do. She lacks the perspective I have as a grown up. I know that disciplining her now will set her up for much success in her life. When she learns respect and obedience, kindness and humility, she will become the type of person that will be desirable as a friend, employee, boss, wife, mother, etc. It will save her from much heartache and hard times in her future, at the expense of perhaps many tears today. One day she will thank me for what today she considers mommy being mean.

I took a break from cleaning the house for any potential showings to sit down and write this truth. I fully expect to have a last-minute showing come up that I am unprepared for. I might still be many months and many showings away from God's perfect timing. I suspect there will be days where I feel frustrated, confused, or just want to give up. But I will not back down or question the calling God has placed on my heart. I will continue to wipe the counters, clean the floors, and hide the clutter daily, hopefully with less grumbling, as I reflect on the truth that God's timing is almost never fast but always perfect. I believe God is more than able to bring the right buyer to our house, regardless of the market and the season, even today if He wanted to. But even if He doesn't, my faith in Him and my conviction to do what He has called us to will not be shaken. 

"For I know the plans I have for you," declares the Lord, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future."

Jeremiah 29:11